News from on High
...when la commish takes time away from making out like a bandit* to provide -mono.league-ers with valuable football information gleaned from the prevous week...


first, a man who takes it in the behind:

“A week earlier Porter had been shot through the left buttock while fleeing random gunfire outside a Denver sports bar, and he was in a fragile state of mind. The shooting spree, which killed one man, nearly deprived Porter of his manhood; he's convinced the bullet, which lodged in his right thigh, would have hit him in the most sensitive of regions had he not assumed a ‘sprinter’s’ stride while fleeing.” (exerpt from a 4 september SI article on pittsburgh steeler linebacker joey porter)

la commish salutes any man who can compare running away like a pansy with the nobility of a sprinter's stride. she also giggles and plans to use the word “manhood” as many times as she can this week.


next, a quarterback who will take it any way la commish wishes to give it:

ah, the manning bowl. overhyped? perhaps. worth it? definitely! la commish sat back with a red stripe and watched as the brothers put their manhoods on the line for their respective teams. outcome: pey-baby has a bigger manhood, as the colts beat the giants on sunday night 26 to 21. the satisfaction of having 2 brothers at once was unparalled in la commish's sports-viewing experience... side note: did anyone notice how grim the manning clan looked througout the game up in their box seats? when la commish is invited to view games with the fam, watch for her to liven things up a bit. she'll be recognized on camera as the one sipping on margaritas while giving her mother-in-law (olivia manning) bunny ears...

and finally, a girl who takes it in style:

“In contrast to Henin-Hardenne, in more traditional tennis attire topped by a white ballcap, Sharapova wore her night-match outfit, similar to a black cocktail dress, accessorized with silver shoes and dangling earrings. Sharapova says the look is inspired by “Breakfast at Tiffany's,” but the guess here is Audrey Hepburn never had a sponsor's swoosh on her outfit.” (espn.com on maria sharapova, winner of the u.s. women's open earlier this weekend here in the sports capital of the world, nyc.)

i know this last bit is a completely-unrelated-to-football digression, but this chick seems cool. almost cool enough to play in our -mono.league....


-la commish, who would have a hell of a time deciding which manning brother to vote off the island




*she's not just referring to phantasy football.