If You're Not First, You're Last
...where la commish imagines herself as the coach of other, lesser, teams....


why la commish harbors no jealousy towards the coach of ‘Last Tackle in Paris’ :

la commish opened a bottle of red wine at work today for a customer. when she pulled the corkscrew, the cork exploded out of the bottle, much more quickly than she had anticipated. you see, the cork was quite small in girth. la commish, who fancies herself to be quite the wine connoisseur, knows a thing or two about cork size and recognized that this particular cork was puny and quite probably ineffective compared to other, more masculine corks. la commish felt sorry for the cork and was thankful she didn't have to partake that particular wine.

speaking of small.... la commish remembers reading somewhere that qb matt hasselbeck was overheard in the locker room spouting something about the importance of the motion of the ocean, right after he LOST the superbowl last year.

a superbowl ring is a big dream for such a little man, 'last tackle in paris.' alas, he's no brando, but i hear he's got a great personality....


-la commish, who has a quarterback with big feet