Phoning One In

very similarly to the colts' level of play last sunday (listen peyton, you can beg off once in a while, but don't make it a habit 'cause a girl's got needs) today's post will be an exercise in the adage "90% of life is showing up." coach mangini's summer training camp for the jets has got nothing come holiday time in the retail industry. therefore, la commish is tired and cranky, so don't expect any literary touchdowns today.

last sunday's cliff notes highlights

the jets: lost on sunday. play-off contention suddenly bleak. sucks.
the giants: won on sunday. none of the players cried. yay!
the cowboys: lost on sunday. finally.
the colts: read intro paragraph, but we'll see who's laughing come superbowl time.
the hatriots: blow-out! giggle at their misfortune. ('blow-out' is a football term that signifies they didn't score once. kind of like la commish this month. a lot of "personal" practice time is therefore in order for them both.)
the steelers: won on sunday. solid.
the 49'-ers: [censored, for his pleasure.]

now would be a good time to share something that the head coach of DEVIL WEARS JERSEYS passed on to me several weeks ago during one of our training sessions in riverside park (read: pushing her stroller through the park while she dotes on baby and i dote on cute passerbys):

there are offices where the following 2 types of sites are made unavailable for employee viewing: porn and phantasy football.

OH MY GOD!! where are these places of employment and why do people still work at them???!!!!! la commish takes pesonal umbridge at this corporate tactic to keep a brother (or sister) down, as the intersection where porn, football, and phantasy connect is exactly where leaguofourown camps out with their thumbs in the air, looking for a ride....

speaking of fearsome....scary giant jeremy shockey recently told the press, "december is the most important month in football." (note to phreaders: i actually have no idea if he said that. i think he did, and it starts off my next paragraph quite nicely, so i'll leave it in. if any giant has libel issues to take up with me, i can be found at the marshmellow, located in crown heights, brooklyn, represent. * ) when other blogs go on vacation, (like dan from the daily dump who recently re-appeared at [redacted] http://redactedblog.blogspot.com/) they ask guest bloggers over for some tea and conversation. leaugofourown, trailblazer that she is, hangs alone, elusive and mysterious. the point: if anything of relevance happens in the next month, be sure and contact la commish personally so that she can set her ph-f team accordingly. (tips are helpful as la commish doesn't know how to cheat on yahoo football.)

la commish will now keel over onto her laptop and wonders how long it will take for customers to notice, turn native, and eventually take over the store.





*la commmish finds it impossible to utter the name of the fine burrough of brooklyn without immediately following it with 'represent!' which sometimes makes for awkward moments with cabbies. very similarly, la commish can't say the name 'tom brady' without tacking on 'BLOWS!' must be some vestigial skill that humans once possessed to recognize the extremes of greatness and suckiness....