Football Free Association

running out the clock: waiting out a relationship that’s gone sour in in the hopes he’ll get the hint and go away

fumble: accidentally calling a boy by the wrong name and/or texting the wrong person about your date later that evening

special teams: who you call when your 1st or 2nd choice are busy

half-back: only one of you scores
full-back: everyone scores!

safety: breathmint and a condom

rookie: good kisser, but never knows when to bring flowers

pro-bowl: la commish’s most beloved exes, were they all to converge under one glorious roof

running back: what anyone foolish enough to leave la commish eventually does

defensive end: sure he SWEARS that he’s straight, but methinks he doth protest too much….

linebacker: he rilly DOES have the fabulous apartment and accroutements he bragged about

wide receiver: what his slutty new girlfriend is