A Football Musical in 4 Quarters
during the last tenessee titans/dallas cowboys game, dt (defensive tackle?) albert hayneworth infamously stomped on cowboy center andre gurod's face, which resulted in 30 stitches and the stiffest league penalty ever, imposed on haynesworth.
there.is.no.excuse. for stomping on someone's face (with cleats!) for no apparent reason. but what if there were a good reason?
1st quarter
where la commish meets a beautiful baby and agrees to teach him about the sexes and oh's.
2nd quarter
where after years of friendship and dating, things turn serious and he invites la commish to move to his city. but right before she's set to move, HE DISAPPEARS! "little pewee" ignores her on valentine's day, skips her birthday, and ultimately becomes the root cause for la commish's year-long near homelessness.
3rd quarter
where little peewee reappears after 7 months of silence and proceeds to leave late-night voicemails, texts, and the occasional e-mail filled with growing desperation (yet nary an apologetic note) as it slowly dawns on him that he's an unforgiveable no-talent and that he's been relegated to a life of minor league-ers.
4th quarter
where little peweee (who still doesn't get that he's lost the game) continues to make such a ninny of himself that la commish is forced to cancel her friday night dinner plans to have a chat with him. insert kick to face with cleat. deserved.
Moral of the Story
never ball a boy with a small pigskin.
5 comments:
Wow.
If they are cleat-to-the-face worthy, they are not real-estate-in-a-cool-blog worthy. Besides, as my grandma always said: "Once you go twitty, they get fat, you stay pretty."
mr. f, thanks for calling my blog cool. i include a tale like this as a cautionary note to my phreaders and remind them that i am not mature enough to take the high road when my heart gets stomped on, therefore i revert to penis jokes. don't judge me. and please embrace your grandma from me the next time you see her, and let her know that she is an honorary member of the -mono.league.-
now that you mention it, he did get fat! hahahaha!
i [heart] mr. f's grandma! she is a wise and beautiful woman...
"No one puts baby in the corner!"
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