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La Commish Announces Early Retirement
La Commish Announces Early Retirement
Brooklyn, NY (AP) -- After many extremely successful seasons in the world of international 'datant', La Commish has officially announced her plans to retire from the world of dating. Inspired by Giants running back Tiki Barber, who last week informed the world of football that this would be his last season, La Commish is also choosing to exit while still on top of her game, if no longer her men.
"99 Problems But a Bitch Ain't One""There's a lot of pressure and competition right now. I still have a lot of love for my many suitors out there, but my heart is no longer in the game. Like Jay-Z, I've lived through the Bed-Stuy years and survived to tell the tale. I'm past the bling, the international intrigue, the ho's in different areas codes....now it's time to concentrate on career, friends, family, and of course, football. I will honor any previous commitments I may have (drunkenly) made, but I plan on adding no more digits into my little black playbook."
La Commish, who's numbers (and measurments) certainly speak for themselves, says she plans to devote herself to charitable works and shares that she hasn't ruled out coaching. "Thanks to all the men I've loved before....and to the magnum men especially."
5 comments:
a bleak period of mourning has begun. let the record show that we are against this decision, but will always be available for future relationships or heated romps when we pass through town.
[stunned silence]
beloved exes,
when have i ever been known to turn you lovelies down? give me a call when you're in town - i'm sure i can recycle you into my schedule under the auspices of "coaching" purposes. note: please disregard if you're an ex whom i've specifally ordered to fuck off and/or threatened with restraining orders....
as i have little faith in la commish's ability to sucessfully fight off the many men who lust after her, i believe that this calls for a betting pool. Not sure what the parameters are yet, but please email me at sombertray@hotmail.com if you are interested in the pool and i will set one up.
....ordered to fuck off and/or threatened with restraining orders...hhmmm. Yup. That would be me. Benched for life.
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